Have you ever wondered why others seem to be so aloof in the areas that you are strongest in? Why does it feel like you are all alone in the way you see things sometimes? Are others turning against you, or is it simply that they don’t have a grid for what you expect from them?
By: Missy Gordon
If it bothers you that others are different, instead of it being a blessing to you, or even causes you to be bitter towards them because they do not love you in the way that you want them to love, then here is some food for thought.
The Royal Law, the greatest commandment next to loving God with all your heart, is to love your neighbor as yourself. But what does the word “love” really mean? And more specifically, what does love mean to you. What are some things that you do to show love to people, starting with how you treat your family and friends?
“Love begins at home, and it is not how much we do, but how much love we put in that action.” – Mother Theresa
The way you show love without even trying is how you are meant to love people. What comes naturally to you? Not something you feel you should be doing, but the things that seem to just come forth without effort in different situations.
As you’re going about your day do people tend to come to your mind? Do you feel led to say things to people that you know others probably wouldn’t say in a normal conversation? Something you feel would really matter to them? You are being drawn into this by the Holy Spirit, it comes naturally to you to operate prophetically toward others because God speaks to you? Sometimes it will be something very specific, other times you will just feel a general pull in someone’s direction to say something encouraging to them. God will always find ways to build people up, encourage/exhort them to do something, and to comfort them through you. “He who prophesies (and is prophetic in nature) speaks edification, exhortation and comfort to men.” 1 Corinthians 14:3
Do you always keep your eye open for what you can do for people? Are you hospitable? Are you always serving others? My mother is this way. She is always looking for ways to make people feel comfortable and loved. She creates a familial environment everywhere she goes, which is the true spirit of hospitality! This comes naturally to her, and many people are blessed because of her grace and kindness.
Do you counsel others? Do you help them see their value? On a day to day basis does it just come naturally to you to ask others how they are doing? Do people tend to open up to you and trust you with personal information that they wouldn’t tell others?
The key here is, does it come naturally to you? If it is something you are trying to do because you feel it’s something you need to do, I doubt that it is how you are called to love others. When you are acting towards others in love in the ways that make most sense to you, you will find that it’s easy, fun, exciting, and you will find as you continue to grow more and more in love, you will begin to carry a deeper peace and fulfillment. Nothing can take away your unique expression of love, because it’s just who you are. Think about what you do to reach out to people, even things that may seem silly to note, like offering people a drink when they stop by your house. You may say to yourself, “doesn’t everyone do that?” The short answer: No!
That’s why we need to stick together, because the person that wouldn’t think to ask you if you want a drink, is the same person who is strong in other areas. We have been so focused on “you have to love how I love, or it’s not love!” that we are missing out on the whole message of Jesus! God set things up a certain way. We are meant to join together, not all be the same. It would be a bit silly if there were 4 people asking you if you’d like a drink.
The message isn’t “hey, you need to start working on those areas that you are weak in! You are really lacking in love in many ways, my friend!” No, the true and more subtle sin is that we’ve actually tried (and failed) to love everyone all on our own, and in ways we are not equipped in. Why are we pretending? Love people in the way you know how. It’s okay that your expression of love is different than someone else, it’s how things are designed by God! Everyone working together like a well-oiled machine – taking care of the needs of the Body, and loving people in the way that comes naturally to us. this is true joy, this is who we’re meant to be.
“God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well. So if God has given you the ability to prophesy speak out with as much faith as God has given you. If your gift is serving others, serve them well. If you are a teacher, teach well. If your gift is to encourage others, be encouraging. If it is giving, give generously. If God has given you leadership ability, take the responsibility seriously. And if you have a gift for showing kindness to others, do it gladly.
Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them.” Romans 12: 6-9 NLT